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The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask yourself - Hayley Carr

My mentor Hayley Carr collaborated with the phenomenal Angela Gallo on a podcast recently and there is so so so much goodness in it…I highly recommend a listen.

Today a particular topic they discussed has been poignant in my universe.

“The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask yourself.”

For example

rather than asking

‘Why am I sick?’

you ask yourself

‘What can I do to help myself heal, to support myself, nurture myself, to give myself every opportunity to be healthy?’

A beautiful friend has been struggling with acute mental heath for quite some time now, years with no progress even under the guidance of medical professionals. She has reached a crossroads with a big decision to make with regard to her treatment that will take her away from her home for an extended period of time.

She is feeling less than confident in her ability to make decisions at this time and reached out to her network for their opinions and support about whether it’s worth it.

As pretty much all off of us know if we don’t choose to do something for ourselves we’re not fully committed or we do it begrudgingly and get in our own way…especially for us rebel children.

An extremely intelligent person she needs to make the choice for herself otherwise it’s not going to work. So to get started she’s reflecting on some better questions she can ask herself rather than her greater support network deciding for her. Questions like

1. How long have I been sick for with little to no progress?

2. How long am I prepared to remain unwell for?

3. Has the way I’ve been going about it so far worked?

4. Is it worth not doing something different?

5. In the big picture is it really that long away in order to heal given how long I’ve been unwell for?

6. Can I take trips back home on weekends, for adventures etc?

7. Does my support network really disappear or are they still a call, message, visit away?

She continues asking questions and finds her answer for herself…only she can answer the question of if going away for treatment is worth it. It needs to come from her in order to succeed.

Notice that these questions are just as relevant to physical health as mental health.

I ask myself questions like these around all sorts of things. The hot topics for me and so many people are health and money (amongst others) and I always reach a question that stops me in my tracks, that is a pivot point, something I need to make a decision about, a choice that is only mine to make. I always have a choice.

What is a better question you can ask?

I can almost guarantee that your better question is also a better question for someone else.

Hit me with your burning topics and questions and ask away?

Send me a message if you would you like some help getting started asking yourself better questions.

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